then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
