The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Randomize
