Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
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