I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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