I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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