I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize