Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
