Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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