break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
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