His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.