You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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