i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
