Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm way too hungover for life right now
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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