his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
you inspire me to be a worse person
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
