So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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