and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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