didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
being pregnant is like rehab
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
