And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
