Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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