i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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