Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize