If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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