hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize