4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
