girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
