Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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