pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
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he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
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You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?