When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style