I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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