did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice