the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Put some vodka in it
put some vodka in it
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper