she was so not down for the gang bang
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
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is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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