Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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