that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
accomplished twins. life is a go
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
