Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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