sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
