we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
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He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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