someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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