im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
