I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
