I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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