her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
