Whoa Z and x make the same sound
can u get pink eye on your cock?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize