Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
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