I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
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My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
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i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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