okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
