yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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