I'm jealous of your bromance
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize