She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
