i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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