I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
