i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
