Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
