dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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