Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
