this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
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