I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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