So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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