I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
