So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Everything about him screamed your future.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
