I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
