ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
