hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
