I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
