I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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