I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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