Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
