Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
